Alright, in this final post of my three part series on the friend zone I’m going to talk about what to do going forward to ensure that you are never again placed into the friend zone by a girl that you would much rather be in the “lovin’ zone” with. (If you missing either of the two previous installments, you can read Part I here and Part II here…)
The key to staying out of the friend zone is to let the women that you are meeting know that you are a confident, masculine guy who is not afraid of expressing his sexual intent which means flirting with women and letting them know that you find them attractive pretty much immediately after you meet them. This may seem intimidating if you are used to being the “nice guy” and not expressing your sexuality. But it is absolutely crucial for getting her to see you as more than just “friend material”.
It is also important that you express this interest in a smooth way so that she will be open to your interest. Depending on the situation you may need to express your interest subtly so that you don’t want to come on too strong and scare her off.
To address these issues, I will give you three tips on how to work up the courage to express your interest and three tips on how to express interest so that it will be well received:
How to work up the courage to express your interest:
1) Remember, it’s better than the friend zone. The main reason guys are afreaid to express interest in a woman is the fear that they will get rejected. But, look at it this way, if she is going to reject you sooner or later anyway why not get it out of the way the first day that you meet her so that you don’t waste a bunch of time pursuing a woman who is never going to be interested in you? This will save you a ton of time and give you the chance to move on to women that you actually have a shot with.
2) Remember, Girls LIKE guys who show interest. What many guys get wrong is thinking that women want a guy who plays “hard to get” or who “treats her with respect”. Okay, most women DO like getting treated with respect, but you don’t need to be treating her like she is this innocent, goddess creature that will be shocked by the fact that you want to bang her. Women know what guys want and they enjoy it when guys are attracted to them and express there interest, so give her what she wants.
3) Make it a habit. No matter what, if you are completely inexperienced expressing your interest in women it is going to take a little while before you start feeling comfortable with it. The easiest way to get comfortable with it is to make it a habit so that expressing interest is just something that you just naturally do without even thinking about it. I recently was reading about how to create new habits for yourself and there has actually been some very interesting research done on this subject. As it turns out if you just do something every day for 21 straight days it will become a habit and you will feel natural doing it. So if this is a sticking point for you, make a pledge to express your interest in every girl you meet that you are attracted to for the next 21 days. By the end of three weeks I guarantee that you will feel quite at ease. Just don’t try to add any other new “habits” during this 21 day stretch as that can be too much for your brain to process.
How to express interest so that it will be well received:
1) Don’t seem TOO eager. Just because you are interested in a woman, doesn’t mean that you should get all up her ass. Women know that the cool guys that they want to date have a lot of other option and are therefore not needy for attention. So when you meet a girl you like, play it cool. Give her a little more eye-contact than you would with somebody you weren’t interested in and then back off a bit… Give her a cocky smirk, and back off… Give her some flirty talk, and back off etc… This way you let her know that it’s on without overdoing it.
2) Use humor to take the edge off. As you get more and more experienced with women you will start to have more of a sense of humor about things, and this is very important. After all, why does the dating/getting physical process have to be so serious anyway? One of the biggest turnoffs for women is when a guy is up tight and serious about dating and relationships, that’s just no fun for anybody. So when you are meeting new women and expressing your interest in them be sure to do so in a light hearted fun way, joke around with her and show her you fun side.
3) Keep things moving forward. Another point to keep in mind is that you always need be moving things in the right direction with a woman you are interested in dating. If you just flirt with her a little and then stop, or if you just keep your flirting very surface level it’s not ever going to go anywhere. Instead, you need to keep ratching thing up. Once you’ve talked for a bit, ask her on a date. Once you are on a date start getting physical and so on so that she knows you are a guy who can make it happen.
I hope you have enjoyed this series on the friend zone and that you take this advice to get out of it and stay out of it permanently. The “FZ” is a plague for millions of men around the globe but by taking initiative you can keep yourself from falling victim.
Again one of the best resources I’ve seen is this Sexualized Flirting system that shows you how to communicate so that women know you are boyfriend or hook up material, not friend zone material. You can watch the video here.