How To Approach A Girl You Don’t Know

by chadhooper on February 29, 2012

how to approach a girl you don't know

Be casual when you approach a girl you don't know...

If you’re like most guys you probably see attractive women everyday that you would like to talk to. But unless you are a skilled pick up artist the idea of approaching a girl you’ve never met can be a bit scary.

I know all about this, because I used to be too scared to approach women myself.

I used to get very frustrated with myself because of this, and it took me many years to finally be able to approach women without fear.

So hopefully this article I wrote this article explaining the ins and outs of how to approach a girl you don’t know can help you out.

In order to be successful with approaching girls there are a few things that you need to get straight beforehand. You need to go into the situation with the right mindset, you need the right “opening line” and you also need a plan of what to say after you do your approach to keep the conversation going.

These three simple things are really all you need in order to start approaching random women and having things run smoothly:

The Right Mindset For Approaching A  Girl You Don’t Know…

Most guys are completely unable to approach girls that they don’t know because they are terrified that the girl will rudely reject them. So instead of approaching they sit around waiting for the girl to give them some sort of indicators of interest so that they can know that she is interested. These signs are very helpful, but if you always wait for a girl to give you a sign before you approach her you will probably be waiting around for a very long time.

Instead you need to have the mindset that women really love being approached by men. This is a true fact, and it is something that you must drill into your head if you want to become successful at approaching. You will notice that you naturally will start to approach women much more confidently when you believe that you are giving them attention that they actually already want.

Sure sometimes a woman will respond rudely, but most of the time this is only occurs when a guy makes a serious mistake and comes on to aggressively which skeeves women out.

What To Say When You Approach A Girl You Don’t Know 

The first thing that you say to a girl you don’t know is fairly important. However that being said don’t worry too much about having the perfect pick up line. You are much better just saying the first thing that comes to you then sitting around worrying about it.

There are three basic openers that you can use…

A direct opener: This is a line that gets right to the point about why you are talking to her. For example saying, “I just had to come over here and let you know that you are the cutest girl in this whole bar” would be a very direct opener.

An indirect opener: This is a line that helps you get a conversation started with a girl, without letting her know that you are interested in her right away. These were made popular by the television show The Pick Up Artist where the contestants were told to approach girls and say, “excuse me, can I ask you a question? Who do you think lies more men or women.”

A situational opener: This is my favorite way to start a conversation with a girl I don’t know because it seems the most natural. Basically all you need to do to use a sitational opener is to pick something that is going on around you and make a comment about it to the girl you like. For example if you are standing in line at a taco stand your could turn turn to a girl you are interested in and say “hey, how are the tacos here”? This seems too easy to work, but it is all about using the correct vocal tonality and gestures when you talk to her so that she can tell that you are flirting.

Keep It Going

It’s important to know how to keep an interaction going after you approach a girl so that things don’t fizzle out after your few exchanges. I recommend keeping a mental list of female friendly conversation topics that you can refer back to if you have trouble thinking up what to say next.

Sometimes you’ll get lucky and pick a woman who is open and ready to do most of the talking right away, but this is not usually the case. Most of the time you need to be prepared to do the majority of talking for at least the first ten minutes or so.

I recently wrote a review of Bobby Rio’s Conversation Escalation program which is my pick as the best training course on how to use your conversational skills to your advantage with women.

Bobby also recently recorder a video all about how to approach girls you can watch that HERE.



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