How To Pimp Out Your Bachelor Pad

by chadhooper on February 18, 2011

A lot of guys are just too lazy to hook up their apartments and turn them into pimped out bachelor pads. Heck, I even know some guys who act like decorating is totally “gay” and claim that they enjoy living like total slobs.

…But I just can’t relate. I’ve always wanted to live in a really smooth apartment. Even back in high-school when I was living with my parents I put effort into making my bedroom a fun place where girls would enjoy spending time with me.

The way I see it is this, while you’re single you have the freedom to do whatever you want to do stylistically, so why not go all out and turn your apartment into a sexy oasis?

Also, don’t fail to take into consideration the fact that your house sends strong messages to women as far as what you are all about. An unkept home is not only unpleasant to be in but it reflects really badly on the owner. It begs the question, “doesn’t this guy care about his surroundings?”

Classy women are used to spending time in classy environments, classy restaurants, 4 star hotels, clean cars and comfortable apartments, so if your place is a dump it will make women uncomfortable.

This is not to say that you can’t hook up with chicks in a gross apartment. Surely you can, but the grossness will work against you!

Also, if you are like me, I love having girls over at my house all the time, and I also like entertaining. And I’ll admit it, I can be kind of a homebody at times. I mean considering the steep rent I’m paying I might as well get some use out of the place! And who needs to go to a bar when you can just have a get together with some lovely ladies at home?

Here are a few rules you can use to pimp out your bachelor pad and make it a lot more attractive to women:

bed1) Your Bed

One time back when I was still living with my roommate Dave, I was hanging out with this girl I was dating and she wanted the tour so we walked past my roommates room and she checked it out and was like “Does he ever have girls over? How can he have girls in that tiny little bed?” It was a point well taken that I hadn’t given much thought. If you want to have girls over to spend the night, you really need at least a full sized mattress! Dave was rockin’ a twin… and that’s bad news.

Maybe if you and the girl are each like 4′ 10″ and 100 lbs. then you could be comfortable in a single bed. But otherwise it’s going to be very uncomfortable. Even just for myself I like a queen. You should also get some sort of bed frame rather than just having a mattress on the floor, and make sure to change those sheets at least twice a month or anytime they are “not so fresh.” It’s  a good idea to get rid of any condom wrappers and stuff like that which may be floating around between the sheets, so before you have a girl over it’s a good idea to do a sheet change. Girls can react badly when they find a variety of other females hair in you bed, earrings, etc…

To really pimp out your bed I would recommend getting some high quality high thread count sheets. Not only do the feel great to sleep in but they are very impressive and are a sign that you are a classy guy. These Pinzon 500-Thread Count Egyptian Sateen Sheets are pretty nice…

2) Your Bathroom

Girls are weird about the bathroom. Personally I don’t pay much attention to this room, but I’ve had a lot of women tell me that they are really turned off by a dirty bathroom, so now I put effort into keeping up on mine. I’ll admit though that this is by far my least favorite part room to maintain.

I’ve actually thought about hiring somebody to take care of this for me because I really hate the toilet and soap scum scrubbing, but if you schedule a monthly deep cleansing and make yourself so it, it really doesn’t take that long. Just make sure there are no stray pubes stuck on anything, wipe the toilet, sink and shower thoroughly, mop the floor, plug in an air freshener or buy some potpourri and make sure to have a fluffy bathroom mat on the floor. You should also check that your shower curtain is clean and not mildewy. Girls notice stuff like mildew. I like using non toxic products to keep a lid on  this type of ickyness because I don’t like inhaling a bunch of bleach and ammonia when I am cleaning so I use KRUD KUTTER MS32 Mold and Mildew Stain Remover Plus Blocker, 32-Ounce – this shit actually smells pretty good!

omaha steak3) Your Kitchen

Your kitchen is a great place to hangout with women because you can do stuff together in there like makes snacks and fix drinks. As with your kitchen it is important to keep surfaces clean and smelling good. You should also keep your fridge stocked with the basics like bottled or filtered water, and sandwich fix’ins. If you really want to turn your bachelor pad into a mack-daddy pimp suite you should also keep your kitchen stocked with girl friendly treats like wine, sorbet, strawberry and so forth. You would also be advised to keep things like whip cream and chocolate sauce around that are fun to eat off of each other. For myself I like to keep a dozen Omaha Steaks In the freezer in case I get these late night munchies, there 8 oz. filet mignons are tasty!

4) Your Living Room

Most of the time your living room is the main “hang-out room” before it’s time to take your lady to bed, so it’s very important that this room be inviting. There are three main components to a sweet living room: a comfy sofa, entertainment, and objects of interest. In order to get a comfortable and decent looking couch at a good price you can simply pick out any old comfortable inexpensive couch at a second hand store, Then go to amazon and get a Soft Micro Suede Solid Mocha Brown Couch/sofa Cover Slipcover and there you go you just saved like $800. For entertainment, all you need is a tv and either record some movies on you DVR or Tivo or get Netflix so you can keep movies around the house and then you can snuggle up with your girl and veg out for a bit.

home bar 5) Other Cool Shit

Lastly, it is important to keep interesting objects around your house that you can talk about with your guests. This would include coffee table books, fishtanks, interesting lamps, artwork, exotic plants and any other fascinating objects you may come across. You may also want to keep “sexy stuff” around like Warm and Sensual Massage Oil – 6.7 oz , Great smelling candles,  and other “props” that can help set the mood.

I’ll try to post a list of sexy slow jams that you should keep cued up an ready to go on your stereo as well in the near future…

…Some final notes, lighting is important, harsh over head lights = bad, lots of dim lamps = good. Get a bottle of high end air freshener like this Xela Limited Edition Tea For You, Jasmine Darjeeling, 8-Ounce Tin. And last but not least, nothing quite sets off a bad ass bachelor pad like a killer home-bar! I’ll have some advice on setting one of those up in a future post, but for now checkout this Two Step Lighted Liquor Bottle Display: 24″W I’m gonna throw in by livingroom – now that is how you pimp out your bachelor pad!

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