Nothing beats a great girlfriend!
Today I wanted to provide you guys with a step by step guide for how to get a girl to be your girlfriend.
So, if there is a young lady that you’ve had your eye on for a while pay attention here…
How frustrating is it to have a crush on a girl but not know what you need to do get her as your girlfriend?
Every time you see her you get a wave of nervous excitement hoping that maybe you’ll be able to pull it off and get somewhere with her…
Unfortunately, this wave of excitement is often followed by a crash of disappointment when you fail to get her number or move things forward with her in any way…
This is a cycle that many men unfortunately go through over and over again. Because they just don’t know what to do…
But at some point you have got to break the cycle.
Step By Step Instructions For Getting A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend
Step #1 Evaluate The Situation
The first and most crucial step to getting a woman to be your girlfriend is figuring out if it is really even worth the effort.
This is is a tough on for a lot of guys to deal with, because when you like a girl a lot it seems like you should obviously try to get her to be your girlfriend… However in many cases it is just a waste of time because your chances of actually converting her into your girlfriend are basically zero.
For instance, I know this one guy named Dan who is completely obsessed with his friend’s daughter. The guy is like 48 years old, out of shape, unattractive, and he has crummy social skills. The girl is 20, fit and attractive with an active social life.
This guy is set on making this girl into his girlfriend and has wasted about a year of his life obsessing over her. He doesn’t stand a chance and she has even gotten a restraining order against him.
No doubt this is an extreme example, but it proves the point. There are some situations where you are just wasting your time trying to get a girl to be your girlfriend.
Yes you can try, but don’t be like Dan, move on to a woman that you actually have a chance with.
Step #2 Initiate Contact
If you haven’t already, the first step to making her your girlfriend is to open up the lines of communication. If the girl you like is already a friend or acquaintance then obviously you are already talking to her, so you can skip ahead. But, if the girl you like is somebody you have been admiring from afar you need to initiate contact smoothly to get things off on the right foot.
In most cases your best bet is to initiate a conversation casually to eliminate any possibility of getting “blown out”… When you are out at a bar you may opt to approach a girl more assertively to let her know that you mean business, and there definitely is a time and place for that approach… But when you are trying to get things going with a girl that you really think is special you are going to want to be more careful.
An easy way to start a casual conversation is to use an observational opener. So if the girl you like is a chick you noticed working at the flower shop you could roll in there and start talking to her about some of the far out plants that they sell.
Step #3 Get Her Attracted To You
Once you have a conversation going with your chosen female the next step is figuring out how to get her attracted to you. After all you can’t just keep having a boring conversation with her about plants or what not.
Small talk is important, but you can’t get stuck there for too long because that will never get you anywhere but the “friends zone”.
This happens to guys all the time… A dude will meet a girl and start a convo, and the girl keeps answering all of their questions and they find out that they have a ton in common. The guy gets all excited because he thinks “oh boy she must like me because she been talking to me for an hour and a half and we like all the same bands!”
But really, just getting a girl to talk to you for a long time and having a lot in common with her does not guarantee that she will feel any attraction whatsoever.
On the contrary, this kind of talk just gets you lumped into the same category as all of the other guys she has had a great time talking to, but who she never considered a potential mate.
So how do you get her attracted to you?
Obviously this is an important and complex topic, but at the end of the day it comes down to being the kind of man that women want. A fun, masculine, secure guy who knows how to show her a good time, and make her feel good.
You might want to check out this post I did on body language to attract women or this one on flirting with girls for more info on this.
Step #4 Get Her Out On A Date
Before a girl can become your girlfriend you need to spend some time with her alone to really get to know each other.
If you are in college you might not need to go on an official date before a girl becomes your girlfriend as you might just end up spending time together at parties and get-togethers… But even so, it is important to get alone time with her so that you can vibe with her without being distracted by others.
So a “date” doesn’t necessarily have to be a traditional dinner date or anything like that. It could be anything from going to get a fast food taco, to meeting up for a drink, to meeting up to walk your dogs together.
Personally though my recommendation is that you meet up for a drink because it is very low-pressure sounding and it won’t cost you an arm and a leg.
Getting a girl on a date isn’t hard either. All you need to do is ask for her number, and then call her up to make plans.
I recommend asking for her number after just 5 or 10 minutes or so of talking to her so that she understands that you want to date her in short order. There is nothing worse than waiting to long and catching a woman off guard when you finally decide to show interest.
If the girl you want as your girlfriend is somebody that you already socialize with, don’t worry that you have waited so long to get her number, just get it as soon as you can and start showing her that you are interested.
Of course there will be situations where you get into a conversation with the girl you like and you both have plenty of time to hang-out. In these situations it obviously makes more sense to just go hang out with her then and there rather than getting her number and putting things off until later.
Step #5 Take Things Slow
Once you have gotten a date lined up with your chosen girl remember not to get overly excited and rush things. As the famous Chinese sage Lao Tzu said “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished” …
Often times guys mess things up with women who are totally attracted to them because they try to force the situation and make things happen too fast.
Instead, chill my brother.
There is no rush. and the cool thing is that women will pick up on the fact that you are all cool and calm and discern that you are a desirable guy who has options and who has a lot of experience with women.
And taking things slow applies to many things here… It means not being in a rush to “score”, not being in a rush to start seeing her all the time, and most certainly not being in a rush to get her as your official girlfriend.
Women want to date guys who have got it going on and true macks are never in a rush because they just don’t need to be.
Step #6 Discuss Dating Exclusively
My definition of a “girlfriend” is somebody that you date exclusively, and before that can happen you and your chick have got to discuss dating exclusively and agree that this is something that you both want to do.
So how do you ask a girl to be your girlfriend?
99.9% of the time you are going to want to wait for the girl to bring up this subject. The reason is that you don’t want her to feel like you are pressuring her into something that she isn’t ready for.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen guy get all excited because they asked some girl to be their girlfriend and then the girl ends up dumping them a week later because she feels smothered.
Don’t let this happen to you!
Women know that desirable guys like their freedom, so by bringing this up yourself you are basically telling her that you have no other options and that you are a desperate dude.
What you should do instead is to just focus on being the funnest, coolest guy that you can be. Make her love you and show her a great time, and then before you know it she’ll be asking you if you would consider going exclusive with her…
And then she’s all yours!
… Few things if any in life can compare to a great girlfriend who you love. I’ve had some good ones, some bad ones, and some downright crazy ones LOL!
And the truth is that even after you get a girlfriend there are still a lot of things that you need to do to keep things going well. For instance, girlfriends can get quite needy, and it can be difficult to deal with a girlfriend who gets jealous and doesn’t want you to chill with you boys anymore.
A lot of guys who are inexperienced in the relationship arena can fall victim to controlling women who can really do a number on them. So remember, as great as she may seem and as bad as you may want her as your girlfriend never let her run your life or you’ll end up miserable.
I hope that you found this overview of how to get a girl to be your girlfriend helpful…
For more information on how to get yourself your dream girlfriend check out this cool new video from top dating expert and master pick up artist Jon Sinn. It’s the best resource I’ve found on the subject.
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